Stomach Flu: The latest greast wedding dress diet!!

Buy your wedding dress three years too early and 10 sizes too small? Will you just DIE if you don't fit into it for your big day?

Try our new Stomach Flu Diet. We give you the stomach flu and in one easy night of uncontrollable vomiting you can lose up to 5 pounds! Call now to receive FREE, as our gift, one bag of IV fluids. IV fluids have been shown to cause 60% less bloating than drinking regular water.

*Warning: Side effects include dizziness, disorientation, diarrhea, inability to stand or walk for more than five minutes, nausea, loss of appetite, or death.
Do not drive or operate heavy machinery until you know how the stomach flu will affect you. Stop or discontinue stomach flu and contact your doctor immediately if blood appears in your vomit.

**The above is designed for comedic purposes only. If you see an ad for this product in your sidebar on Facebook, I do NOT endorse it in any way. Nor is this an invitation to make negative comments towards individuals with eating disorders. The target of such criticism should be contained to media, market and social forces that profit, in power or in capital, from the promotion of such body negative pressures.

***The stomach flu is hitting hard this year, folks. Wash your hands and don't eat after anyone who may be infected.

How not to fail at your blog 101

Okay, so I promised myself that I would keep up with this blog. Despite the fact that my last day off was Monday and my next one will be on Sunday, yes that's twelve straight days of work for a total of 18 shifts (it's okay I'm only complaining a little bit), I am forcing myself to write something just to break the silence. So, I made you some lists, blogland.

List one: things I've been doing
-working (I think I may have already mentioned that somewhere)
-counting down (52 days to Guatemala, 69 days to the wedding, and 47 days to graduation which somehow seems anti-climactic right now)
-making sociological observations of the crowds at my various jobs (more on my findings later)
-letting a LOT of oppressive statements slide, feeling guilty about it, eventually forcing myself to say something, feeling frustrated and conflicted
-sleeping little and caffeinating a lot

List two: things I miss
-my boo
-my womens
-a community that supports me (perhaps more that I realized when I had it)
-people who have more to talk about than how much alcohol/weed/other drugs they consumed last night (to be clear, my life is not devoid of those people, they have just become somewhat scarce)
-cuba
-xela (not necessarily in that order, tranquilo xela)
-tortillas negras (you see, guatemala, I miss you AND your food, cuba, well... sorry)
-sleep

List three: things I am going to miss
-netflix instant view
-FAST internet/Wifi everywhere, FREE
-my family, even though they annoy me now :)
-cheap phone calls/bus rides between me and my womynz (though I never get to see/talk to you, the idea of it is comforting)
-being able to default to a language I generally make sense in, can tell when I don't and know how to fix that
-the creature comforts of first world capitalism
-this one is a little hard to explain, but systems of oppression that I know and understand; I'm not happy with them, but I can wrap my head around them

List four: things I will NOT miss
-waking up alone
-coming home from a long day with no one to rub my back
-not having anyone to go dancing with/getting approached by random dudes when I dance alone
-snow
-working all the time
-skype sex
-strict notions of time and timeliness

I have to go back to work soon. I should sleep before then. More stuff soon, maybe lists, maybe more interesting stuff. No promises right now. :D